I’m writing this just four days after the death of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II. I am not a grief counsellor – these are my personal thoughts.
We all knew this day would come. Few can have failed to notice the change of pace and ability of our late Queen. And yet, and yet – we put the thought that this really would happen to one side. We buried it in the way we bury the thought of a parent or spouse dying.
So the news being released throughout Thursday culminating in the formal announcement of the death of our late Queen that evening brought about a collective sharp intake of breath.
Possibly it was a bit of a double shock. That was the first. The second is how much we have all been thrown into a state of grief. So many of us have been taken aback by how shocked we feel.
Such was Her role in our lives, we feel uprooted now. We have lost our leader, our role model, our constant figurehead. We have lost our Queen on whom we could rely for a calm strength.

But this is not our only grief. We all carry grief with us through our lives. Sometimes we don’t realise we are grieving but I don’t believe grief is a finite thing. It has no full stop. It can be triggered at moments such as these and the feelings it generates are brought back to the surface of our minds and hearts. When it surfaces, it brings down our resilience.
As we live through these days of mourning, our routines, our everyday lives that we rely on for familiarity and stability, are thrown aside at a time when we most need them.
Finally, we should acknowledge any death is a reminder of our own mortality. In this death, we are all ‘moving on a generation’. Moving towards our own turn, so to speak. For most of us, Queen Elizabeth was the only monarch we have known. King Charles III has nearly always been the Prince of Wales. As we become familiar with these changes – the natural course of events – our reactions and feelings will become more measured. The grief we will always carry for HM Queen Elizabeth II will become part of the grief we all carry through our lives.
To quote the late Queen: “Grief is the price we pay for love”.
n Alice Johnsen is a life coach based near Sherborne (07961 080513; alicejohnsen.co.uk)